Kiss me if you can Volume 3 – Chapter 6

Translator/Editor : Léabyss

Why? 

The first thought that came to mind was: Why is Grayson here? Why? how? 

Grayson said, answering a silent question. 

“I was lucky to meet Mark. What? If he hadn’t opened the door, I would have been waiting for you outside. I’m so lucky, aren’t I?”

“Grayson.”

Barely Chase repeated his name. Grayson tilted his head as if ‘Huh?’

“Why are you here? Suddenly. What?”

Chase was reluctant to tremble and stutter, and he was going crazy, disgusted by himself. 

A man who he hates so much, he is so scared, he really hates him, but can never disobey.

For Chase, Grayson was like that. Even if he was alone now, Chase always had the illusion of having his life wrapped around Grayson’s hand. And without fail, the dog was at his feet. 

Ha.

He stopped breathing and started getting dizzy. Chase hurriedly closed his eyes and buried his face in both hands. Watching such a Chase, Grayson spoke with ease as usual.

“After an accident, you have a better face than I thought.”

Chase glared at him through his fingers.

“So?”

“No way. You always don’t know my sincerity.”

Grayson shook his head, sighing in an exaggerated tone, as in a play. He didn’t forget to put his hand on his chest and say “Oh oh!” Of course, all of that was enough to get rid of Chase. Chase slowly lowered his hand and looked at him. Looking at Chase’s distorted face, Grayson spoke with ease as usual. 

“I came here because I was curious if you were filming a movie well, but you seem to be doing better than I thought.”

“Ha. “

Chase laughed briefly. Grayson glanced over him one time without worrying and smiled all over his face.

“I didn’t even think you were going to do Doctor Flame. “

“Why?”

Grayson burst into laughter when he was asked a fiery question. Chase’s face was hardened by a ridiculously pleasing laughter. Looking at that expression, Grayson answered clearly.

“You are Chase Miller, not Doctor Frame. “

The answer seemed to be that he thought it was enough. Chase was stunned, speechless for a moment. He just wanted to talk to him, but Grayson was a human being. Disillusioned, he grieved it.

“… off.”

Chase was barely referenced as if he was stuffy and going crazy as if he was stuffed up, and Chase stood up. He picked up Josh’s jeans and wore it on his bare body, passed Grayson and left the bedroom, but if he would give up this easily, Grayson wouldn’t have been here in the first place. Without hesitation, he followed Chase’s footsteps. 

“Don’t follow, just get off.” 

“It’s been a while, don’t do that, come and kiss me, little brother,”

“You’re mad, go out and die. This is a funny situation right now, don’t you think?”

Grayson’s eyes wide open to the exaggerated swear words.

“To say that! How cute I am to you. Well, you always misunderstood me like that.” 

“It’s not a misunderstanding, it’s true. If you love me, you can’t do that to me.”

Grayson was still unconvinced by Chase’s plea. 

“I’m trying to help because I love you.”

Chase sighed, and then shouted sharply.

“Help me? Making sex with a dog just because my rut is here?”

Grayson asked, sincerely puzzled.

“What’s wrong with dogs?”

Chase was speechless and stopped walking. A fever rose belatedly in his head, which had been dazed for a while. 

Looking back and sarcastic, Grayson looked down at him quietly. A strange silence flowed. When he was nervous, suddenly Grayson moved. Grayson, who came right in front of him in one stride, bowed his head. He opened his mouth as he pierced and looked into Chase’s eyes. As if telling him the truth that he kept so sweetly. 

“Chase, all the holes are the same.”

“…Ha”

A bleak sigh flowed out as if it were bursting. Chase looked at Grayson without a scary look. Any words won’t work, was there anyone who would understand him in the first place? Chase realized it again. There were no more words or motivation left to say. Chase seemed to use up all of his energy just by standing up. Grayson said to Chase, who had shut his mouth. 

“If you don’t like that, how many times have you said that you can remove the pheromone in advance?” 

Chase stopped trying to say.

“…”

Suddenly, Steward’s words came to mind. 

<I couldn’t have helped it, to protect my beloved youngest son.> 

Chase asked, biting his lips. 

“If that happens, are you going to rape Bliss[name of a dog?]? Eh, if your Rut comes when there is no person.”

If Grayson replied readily. Without any hesitation.

“If the cycle is right, there is no way to do it. Isn’t it better than dog-and-doing?”

“And that’s my brother …”

But Grayson was a little upset.

“That’s a good thing to help one another, what’s wrong?”

Looked like Chase altogether lost soul that he had the crab smoke Grayson is not insignificant he spit it out long. A light smile appeared on his face.

“Or, would you like to play with a dog again?”

At that moment, Chase took a sharp breath. Grayson watched his appearance with thin eyes. His trembling lips widened and then opened again. Still, the voice came out after several more attempts were repeated.

“I didn’t.”

The trembling voice was full of fear. Grayson laughed briefly. 

“How do you know? You can’t remember anything.”

It was true. The deepest horror hidden inside Chase, Grayson was unquestionable. Grayson smiled as he slowly tilted his head and looked into Chase’s face.

“If it wasn’t a dog, would it have been with a cat?”

Chase’s eyes were blurred. Nausea comes up. The memories of that day seemed to come back to life in front of him. The flickering curtains, the harsh breathing, and the faint smell of a horned dog. 

haha.

Grayson made a bitter smile when he saw Chase’s breath getting rough. 

“Chase, I really don’t understand you. What’s wrong with me? Neither Nathaniel nor I, we all try to help you like this.”

“…”

Chase took a deep breath, exhaled, and opened his mouth with a clogged voice. 

“Just leave me alone.” 

“Chase.”

Grayson reached out. Chase violently beat it off.

“I told you to go out, don’t touch me! I should have killed someone like you, I should have shot at you, not Alex at that time!”

“Chase.” 

“What are you doing here?”

Grayson turned his head at the sudden blown voice, and Chase was surprised and opened his eyes wide. The moment he checked the face of a man standing a few steps away, Chase’s face hardened and a blocked sigh erupted.

 Ha.

When he barely exhales a trembling breath, Josh strides with a large stride and blocks between the two. The gaze of staring straight at him seemed a little surprising, but it soon turned into a funny expression.

There was a cool silence between them. It was Josh who opened his mouth first.

“It’s difficult if you come in on your own. No matter how much you’re a family, you should have gotten permission in advance.”

“I got permission from Mark.”

He said round and round. 

“Mark opened the door.” 

“You can’t do that. I just met Mark, and I haven’t heard of it. Even if you told Mark, there’s no way Mark wouldn’t have reported it to Mr. Miller. The fact that Mr. Miller doesn’t know is that you’ve been thinking about it at will. It works.”

Grayson blinked his eyes in a stiff tone, and immediately laughed. Unexpectedly, he praised Josh.

“He’s smart.” 

“Thank you.”

Josh was sarcastic. Grayson stroked his chin and looked down at him for a while. He was still a man with an uncomfortable gaze. Josh wanted this man to leave, but he didn’t try to move.

“…. What are you doing?”

It was Chase who snatched Grayson’s hand outstretched suddenly. He asked in a low voice, staring at Grayson with a completely pale face. Josh looked at the hand that stopped before his eyes, then turned to Chase and back to Grayson. Grayson continued to gaze at Josh and stopped moving.

“No matter how I look I do not think you’re a Beta, you’re a Beta is that right?”

“Yes”

“How are you so sure?” 

The fun nuanced Chase still spit out with a stiff face. 

“You know when you smell the fragrance, it doesn’t come out at all.”

Grayson slowly shed exclamation. Chase and Josh at the same time, thinking, but a strange smile emerges on his face.

“Get out!”

“Mr. Miller”

Josh quickly cut in between the two. Both Chase and Grayson’s gaze turned to him at the same time. He opened his mouth coldly. He tried to say “Mr. Miller” but both had the same last name. Inevitably, the title was omitted.

“My younger brother is going to be tired because he just woke up . I will go today and come back next time.”

“Make an appointment in advanceq”

He thought of what to do if this man does not retire. At that time, of course, he was thinking of throwing him out with force. Because that’s his job, he added a reasonable reason to do it, but in fact, he could do anything to keep Chase.

For a while, Grayson didn’t respond. Josh frowned at the gaze that only looked at himself.

What is that expression? 

He could hardly read his feelings. Whether he was embarrassed, angry or disappointed, it was the first time that he had such an expression. Josh had no idea what the man was thinking.

“Then.”

When Grayson opened his mouth, Josh stared at him, vigilantly. Just in case, he was preparing to attack, but unexpectedly, he looked at Chase with a refreshing smile. 

“Then I have to go, I can’t help it.”

He couldn’t believe Grayson would retreat so easily. Are you serious? Grayson still smiled at Josh, looking suspiciously. 

“Would you rather see me off to the front? My younger brother doesn’t seem to do it, and it’s lonely to go back alone.”

Whenever he opened his mouth, he was a man who only spoke words that didn’t suit him at all. Josh nodded silently, even though absurd.

“Then Chase, do your best.”

“Shut up.”

Despite Chase’s swear words, Grayson shook his head and sighed before turning. Josh was nervous for a moment as if he was hitting his head with a chair from behind, but fortunately, Chase swears briefly and doesn’t attack him. In order to get him back before things got bigger, Josh hurriedly followed Grayson’s footsteps. 

“Ah.”

When he was almost at the entrance, Grayson suddenly stopped. What else, Josh frowned annoyingly. Grayson glanced back and then turned his gaze to Chase and smiled.

“If you want to have him, you can turn him into Omega, Chase. Is that right?”

Grayson smiled at Josh. What does he mean by this? It wasn’t just Josh who was embarrassed. It was this time that Chase tried to catch him, but Grayson quickly escaped, as if running away.

“Let’s see you next time, Dr. Flame.” 

He add it as if mocking, whoo, without forgetting to laugh. 

“Mr. Miller, this way.”

Josh had to rush to drag Grayson away, before Chase could commit the murder.

✤✤✤✤✤✤

“Woo.”

When he finally got out of the trailer and stood in the open air, it seemed that he couldn’t breathe. Josh exhales a deep breath, and then his gaze meets Grayson. Immediately his expression hardened. Then Grayson said with a bitter smile.

“Don’t be so vigilant, it’s ridiculous. It’s so hard to meet my younger brother.” 

“You know the reason better.”

At Josh’s words, Grayson looked startled. Josh frowned. Why does that man’s expression look like this one? 

“I don’t know at all, do you know? So, what’s your name?”

Josh pretended to be unaware of the whispering intentions. 

“Everyone hates it if you force it.”

Josh couldn’t tell whether this man was trying to make a useless joke with him or whether he really didn’t know. Looking silently, Grayson seriously stroked his chin and tilted his head.

“Are you talking about that?”

Now he thought it would work, but he said to Josh.

“Has Chase always been a bait when playing hide-and-seek? Did you put him in the closet to get used to the darkness? Dropped him from the chimney to let him know that Santa wasn’t there? Did you push him in front of the school bus because he didn’t want to go to school? Did you put him in an audio room for three days to study acting and play a movie all day? Or…”

“Wait, wait a minute. God, what are you talking about? You did all that to Chase Mr. Miller? Are there still more left over there?”

In the endless past, Josh was tired of stopping him. Grayson blinked with his mouth open. 

“Yes, why?”

Josh looked at him with nothing to say. Grayson frowned and sighed before long.

“No, I really don’t understand.”

Grayson was saying.

“Why the hell? We really did our best. Chase as a bait anyway was always caught and was a tag, so it saved us the trouble. Chimneys are like that. It’s not like Santa is in the world. I just pushed him to test if it makes sense, and he broke his arm, but his neck wasn’t broken. Do you know how hard I was trying to get rid of the knights and wait in the su, and then pull out the struggling and push them to the right timing? I’m missing, but that kid doesn’t even know how to thank me, yeah, that’s right. He’s never said thank you to me, that boy ! “

When he saw Grayson suddenly angry, Josh was sincerely curious. Why should he thank him? Suddenly, he felt like he knew all the reasons why Chase had become a personality traitor. Anyone would be distorted if they were harassed like that.

But Grayson still didn’t understand. Watching him arm in arm with a troubled frown missing Josh felt a headache

“Is it not abused?”

“No, I was helping him”

Grayson reacted sincerely and did not know why. Josh pointed out patiently.

“If I suffer, I am abused, and even more difficult when I grow up because of it” he added unintentionally. “Don’t you know that Mr. Miller is still struggling with dogs?”

This time he knew how to convince, but it was just Josh’s wish.

“Why is it so bad to have a dog?”

Incredibly, Grayson asked with an incredibly pure look. 

“It’s no different than having sex with my favorite hole or penis.”

Josh had nothing more to say. Only then he accepted the truth he wanted to deny.

He thought Chase Miller was a crazy guy, but he turned out to be the best. No, it may be that I was forced to go crazy. 

Still Grayson was looking at Josh with an unconvinced face. Looking at the face, Josh realized what the man’s biggest problem was.

Since he is an act of goodwill, he is of course thinking that it is good deeds. Regardless of the other person’s intentions, it was clear that this man never understood why he did a good job, but the other person was sick of it and hated it.

“It’s a really tricky guy, Chase.”

With that, Grayson put all the answers together. It’s just that Chase is weird, and his personality is so picky that he doesn’t accept whatever he does. Josh felt a complex mood beyond words.

“…”

The conversation above this was meaningless. Josh turned around, leaving only that word. As he tried to get back into the trailer, he glanced back. 

Grayson was still there. With a serious look, Josh couldn’t tell if he was still thinking about Chase, or if he had other thoughts. He just ignored it and walked away. The place he headed for was the bedroom.

✤✤✤✤✤✤

After a light knock, the door was opened. There would be no answer anyway, so he didn’t even have to wait. As expected, Chase was sitting in bed. Without wearing a shirt, his face was buried in both hands and the crouched appearance looked somewhat pitiful. After closing the door, Josh immediately approached him and reached out his hand, but Chase stepped back as if running away from him, scaring him from reaching his shoulder. 

“…What?” 

A pale face came into Josh’s sight, and fear was in his swaying eyes, and Josh stood still and waited for Chase to regain reason, and little by little, his eyes were darkened. Barely he fixed his gaze at Josh, then Josh opened his mouth 

“Your brother is gone.”

It’s all that’s right out of the trailer, but he added inwardly. Josh could feel him sinking. 

Suddenly he imagined Chase, who was about the same age as Pete, or older, fell from a chimney, broke his arm, and was trapped in a closet, crying for fear. 

Chase, curled up with his face covered, looked infinitely small. Josh reached out and stopped in the air. Instead of covering his shoulders, he opened his mouth.

“What can I do, Chase? Tell me, I’ll listen.”

Chase still had no answer. Josh asked, looking down at him, exhaling a trembling sigh. 

“Shall I kill him?”

At the sudden question, Chase couldn’t understand the meaning. His face with his head up was full of suspicion, but Josh wasn’t agitated at all, and still spoke in a monotonous tone. 

“Shall I kill him? Anyone just tell me, Chase. Grayson? Grayson’s dog? Or will I kill all the people who bother you?”

Chase’s eyes gradually widened. His lips were sweet, but he couldn’t speak. He made a sound after a while. 

“You say you can’t be a criminal.”

Josh smiled bitterly at the obvious point.

“I did, but…”

With a short sigh in between, he added. 

“I’ll be better at adapting in jail than you are.”

Josh whispered tenderly, patting Chase’s silent cheeks with his blank eyes. 

“…”

Chase opened his mouth. His lips trembled as much as his breath. Barely squeezing the sound, he confessed. 

“… I. “

Josh glanced down at him.

“Please, kill me. “

He doesn’t want to live like this. He whispered. He was afraid and didn’t want to continue day by day. Seriously, he was tired of living. Maybe he’ll lose consciousness again and eventually one day with a dog… Just by imagination, he threw his throat.

He wanted to hang and die. “Have you ever thought about where and what I did, how scary it is that I can’t remember at all? “

“…”

“I know. “

Once again Chase’s eyes were full of tears.

“You can’t even imagine it. “

Even if he said he didn’t want to have sex, everyone didn’t take it seriously. Finally, to Chase, who panicked after seeing the dog and crying, Grayson said.

<You don’t have to rush to find a partner in the future. You’re an Alpha. You don’t have to do anything with someone you don’t like.> 

And he smiled brightly sincerely.

<Good, Chase, how lucky is this?> 

His expression that day, his clothes, the window in the living room that was open, the wish that was blowing, the scent of the fresh wood that tickled the tip of his nose, and the scent of a fish mixed in it, and the Roth Weiler, who was greasy toward him.

Chase could remember everything so clearly. Just like yesterday. 

The tears that had ceased soon filled up. He bit his lips to endure, but tears flowed out regardless of his will. Josh hugged his shoulder and pulled him silently. That was all, but the tears that burst once flowed out of control. 

Until now, he was completely alone. It was all about continuing day by day, waiting for the day to disappear someday, crouching silently on the soaring island. 

Everyone in the world is the same. In the end, they look at him with a strange face. They don’t understand, are embarrassed, laugh and pass by. He was tired of this misunderstanding and didn’t want anything anymore. He just hopes to leave himself alone.

But the truth was waiting. May someone recognize him and reach out to him so hurt and lonely.

Please somebody understand me.

Josh hugged him sobbing, whispered overhead. 

“You can’t die, as long as I guard you” 

He still said calmly.

“You won’t lose your memory. If that happens…”

“…”

“I’ll protect you so that no one hurts you.”

Chase slowly looked up. The eyes that were all wet and twinkling shone brighter than the stars in the night sky

“… Really?”

In sobbing he asked. There was no confidence in the voice. Josh replied, looking into his eyes.

“I’ll promise.”

Josh smiled as he kissed Chase on his forehead. He looked up at him, blinking his eyes. Josh laughed as he carefully removed his hair from his face.

“Of course you look better with blonde hair.”

“…”

“I hope the filming ends soon.”

Like to himself, he said, but what Chase wanted was the opposite. What will happen when the shooting is over? Wouldn’t he just disappear suddenly like that time? Not asking any more, Chase hugged Josh at the waist. Josh just left his face buried in his chest.

“…Don’t care about what your brother said.”

While holding Chase’s thin arms around his waist, he buried his lips in the skin and hugged his shoulders tightly. Chase didn’t say anything, closed his eyes and checked his body scent deeply. There was no scent.