Ai wo ataeru kemonotachi Volume 2 – Chapter 5

Translator/Editor : Léabyss

More than forty years ago, when I was still very young, I ascended the throne to take the place of my dead father … At that time, although the number of humans had already gradually decreased, sometimes a couple of them were seen walking by the city.

The first time I saw my husband he was in a market. I had left the castle to free myself from the harsh affairs of my daily life … He was there, selling vegetables with his father. When I spoke to them and to the other merchants around them, they told me that they lived in the mountains that were a little further from the capital. He came to sell with his family, and then left when night fell.

His figure was smooth. A slim young man who had a very strong light in his eyes. He changed his facial expression from time to time and often talked about his day in a completely funny way.

I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

If I think about it now, I should have asked him to marry me immediately after I felt we belonged to each other, but considering my position, a marriage would force him to have a level and responsibilities that perhaps he did not want. He was a beautiful human, an absolutely free man … And I didn’t want him to stop being that way. If possible, he wanted to wait. I wanted to make him fall in love.

I tried to talk to him several times, but he never realized that he was my partner …

Maybe he never felt it, who knows.

I did everything in the traditional way until little by little he also got acquainted with me, with my feelings and my words and the relationship finally deepened. The last time I went out to town, I told him that I loved him … And that I planned to always be with him.

Tsuji loved his home and one day he received information that his human village might be under attack by hunter beasts … Ignoring his father’s restrictions — and mine — he joined the military troops and ran to his village. He pushed his favorite Arvis to the limit and advanced as far as possible.

I could only pray for him from the bottom of my heart … But he never came back.

I rode all the way to his house, which was by the stream in a town I didn’t know but had heard countless times in his stories. The fire had consumed the front of a building … But I could hear him scream. Scream with great pain. I rushed to the door and ran even further. There was a terrible scene in front of me. His father, who sold vegetables with him, drew a lot of blood from his open neck. The other man, who he supposed was the one who had given birth to him, had his lower body shattered. Devoured and torn away by what appeared to be huge teeth. His brother’s little head was bent in a strange direction … And he, who was more important than my own life, was being raped by another beast in front of me.

It penetrated him, turned into a huge bear … And he could only scream .

I jumped on the beast immediately. I was angry, I was so sad and confused that I killed him without realizing it, although he was not a strong man and my arms were somewhat small.

I loved him, I really loved him very much.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry … Sorry I’m late … I’m so sorry … Tsuji …”

His eyes were wide. He was crying and screaming desperately while I, in a terrible panic, could only stupidly say how sorry I was.

“I’m really sorry … I’m really … I’m sorry.”

My important “partner” was raped, my “partner’s” important family had a miserable end, and possibly my important “partner” hated me as much as I hated myself.

When I called a soldier and asked him to protect him … I left there. The people survived, with him and a few other humans, but I couldn’t stop hearing Tsuji’s voice, screaming all the time in my ear. Saying: “I called for you” “All this time I called for you.” It was even more painful than if I had just died in that instant.

I ordered that the surviving humans be carefully protected so that there would not be such dire events in the future … But I had only done it with him in mind.

And suddenly … After a huge sea of ​​hallucinations with his voice, I met him again.

I cried too much when I had him face to face, I held him and told him to forgive me for having that kind of attitude. For having escaped. I hugged him and he laughed with his nose on my neck. I felt his hands again and heard him say, “How could you be worried about that?Fool.”

I loved him … I loved the young man who laughed a lot and changed his expression when he saw me. I adored the man who kissed me that time, the one who let me lie down next to him and make love to him …

He gave birth to two boys, Albert and Douglas, and … He looked so happy that he did. Really amazed! But I … Who only loved the beautiful things he gave me, I forgot to tell him that I also loved his moments of pain.

And he was always cruelly carried away by that night.

I thought he was really happy with his life, happy with me and what I had given him. But one day he just let himself die. I can’t forget the words he said to me, or the feel of his hand, or the face he gave me that last time.

“Can you … take care of Albert and Douglas? Please. Do not be sad. What you gave me was really … Really wonderful and it made me very happy … But I … I couldn’t forget. I couldn’t … Stop seeing those terrible things every time I close my eyes … Hector, don’t cry … You were always a wonderful person as a husband … as a father … as a king … Can you help … humans to have thoughts like mine? Please create a wonderful country so that no one suffers the same as me … Yes?I love you very much.”

Gradually, the power disappears from that hand … And I can only cry.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated like the time he was raped. “I’m so sorry…”

Why couldn’t I support him at the time? Why did I run away? Why did I quit? Why didn’t I hear it? Why didn’t I tell him that I loved him enough? Why do you punish me like this? Why did you leave me?

After his death, it was no wonder that he drove me crazy.

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I used all my power to forbid the curse that was given to sex slaves, tried to eliminate prostitution establishments slowly, and wrote strict orders to protect humans and their established villages in Leonidas. However, it was only something that happened here … I could not extend my ideals to other nations or other rulers. The characteristics of the human tribes were too attractive for the beasts not to want to take them and it did not even matter if they had a mate or not.

There were so many beasts that hunted humans for fun that the market couldn’t stop right away and some clandestine establishments were even opened. I regretted it all the time then, because I couldn’t keep the promise I made to him … How many humans had the same luck as Tsuji? How many victims had the same thoughts as him and died helplessly? There are those who call me “The Silent King” because apparently I have stopped talking too much. Why am I the wise king just for doing the right thing?

My children, who were lived without a father(the mom) when they were very young, grew up healthy, but with complicated thoughts.

One day Albert, who was on a mission as a knight, brought a couple of humans to the house. It seems that they were rescued by him because the town where they lived was attacked by game beasts. Half of the people were murdered and half were raped … It is said that the man of the human race named Cyril is the companion of my son.

Wow … At times like these is when I want to curse my destiny and my life and what happened … Because my husband and Cyril behaved exactly the same. He also hated beasts, he also seemed immensely free.

Yes, just like him.

Being loved by Albert will surely make him happy … But in the early days he had a deep hatred that was difficult to hide. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, obviously. It was nobody’s fault but me.

Albert and Cyril got married and from them a lion and a little human were born. Of course, Theodor is a very cute puppy, adorable to an exaggerated level … But I was really worried about Alexei, since he was a human being. No matter what terms we are on, or the relative peace we achieve, I can hardly ever be calm when it comes to that species and it gets much worse when it comes to my family. Unfortunately for me, Douglas was also captivated by a human. A little boy who was abused for years and treated as a sex slave. In addition, he was used as a toy for the aristocrats of Catalton and for the enjoyment of the wealthiest guests of a lower area called Kashiwakan. The last I knew was that he had been taken to the slave alley to be sold as a leftover food.

All the beasts always manage to make me feel disgusted … Although I am glad that a broken heart cannot be broken anymore.

However, when I look at him I see only a little shame in him and his sincere feelings of trust for Douglas and Gale. Also, I can appreciate his intense love. I do not feel the dark things that a person who has been abused usually has. I also don’t see those dark shadows Tsuji had behind him all the time.

And actually, it comforted me a lot that Chikayuki was like this … That he got through. That he was happy and that he smiled. You may want to think that I have kept my promise to Tsuji if you can see, from wherever you are, that I managed to protect your children’s companions and children. To Chikayuki, Alexei and Cyril. They don’t have ugly thoughts, and they don’t feel dirty either … I’m doing fine then. Is it not true?

When we meet again, then I will use the things I learned here and make us very happy again. I’ll make him laugh and put the bad things out of his mind so he won’t fly away before me. That’s the promise that I always make, right before I go to sleep.